


Super Mario Galaxy - PART 77

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: (but I think we all wanted), (the AU no one asked for), Arryn as Arin, Barbara as Dan, F/F, Game Grump sense of humor but with the RT ladies, Game Grumps AU, Innuendos a-plenty, based off that infamous Super Mario Galaxy episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 08:58:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6045652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arryn and Barbara discuss rather important matters during the Grump session. </p><p> </p><p>AKA: The GG AU that I think we all secretly desired. </p><p> </p><p>Rated M for inexplicable cursing and immature jokes, because, c'mon, it's a Game Grump AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Super Mario Galaxy - PART 77

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the real GG episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtaCjauhDQU
> 
> This is to make up for the week I was absent (and didn't post any Valentine's fics like I promised). I hope to try and get back of track with them but no promises (since I can't keep them)! I hope to try and work more on my personal writings. I've had a writer's block for far too long. 
> 
> This is for GuyOfShy! I know you really wanted a GG! AU. 
> 
> If you guys like this enough, I might consider doing a few more parodies of other GG episodes (maybe even Meg and Ashley for Steam Train? Or Meg and Ryan for Table Flip? Maybe Mica for Grumpcade? Who knows!)

* * *

“Hey I’m Grump!”

“I’m Not-so-Grump!”

“And, we’re the Game Grumps!"

* * *

 

Arryn lazily held the Wii remote as she adjusted her mic, shooting a glance at her companion on the couch beside her. Barbara was resting her head on her fist, arm on the edge of the couch. She seemed to be watching the screen with a smile of her face, thinking of something entirely else.

Then again, their conversation seconds before the recording had officially started had been one to make them both think.

“Hey, welcome back to Game Grumps!”

Barbara butted into her sentence, dragging out a, “ _Okaaaaaaay_.” The blonde playfully glared at Arryn. “Hello.”

The raven haired girl decided to play into her tease. She would certainly hint at their conversation beforehand. “Uh, I am-,” Barbara hummed. “- _not_ asking Barbara to do favors for me.”

The Canadian seemed fine elaborating, removing her hand as she sat closer to the mic. “Yeah, specifically fucking you.” She did not hold back, grinning as Arryn blushed slightly.

It was certainly a joke made to humor the fans – especially the ones who seemed to ship the two devoutly – but it still made her slightly embarrassed to be addressing such a. . .interesting matter.

“What? Why would you even say that?” Arryn asked, feigning confusion. She held back the urge to roll her eyes or let out a ‘pffft’.

Barbara, however, did not anything to hid her emotions. Her eyes widened as pressed her lips, nodding. She seemed to be pondering something before relaxing against the couch and nonchalantly suggesting, “ _God_ , what if we just fucked one day?”

Arryn tried her best to cover her rosy cheeks with her hair, hiding it from Barbara’s view. Her eyes tried to focus on the screen as she moved the Wii remote’s cursor. ‘ _Just focus on the star, Arryn. You’re playing Mario with your totally-not-super-attractive best friend who totally isn’t insinuating something you’ve been wanting to do since you met her._ ’ She blushed. ‘ _Those. Thoughts. Are. Not. Helping._ ’ Damn her dirty brain!

“Dude, you’re so weird right now!” She stammered semi-confidently. Barbara broke into a laugh, clapping her hands together. The grin she was giving her did not help her pounding heart.

‘ _Fuck you, Barbara Dunkelman_.’ Arryn abashedly thought. ‘ _I think what you mean to say is: I want to_ fuck you, _Barbara Dunkelman._ ’ Her brain made sure to correct her. ‘ _Fuck her and her perfect lips that you want to kiss and her perfect hair that you want to grip and her perfect voice that you want to hear call out your name._ ’

If her cheeks weren’t already on fire, they certainly were now. Usually you could control your thoughts but they occasionally ran wild. Having such. . .lewd ideas during a Grump session was a _horrible_ idea.

‘ _You’re just two friends who play video games together and talk about dicks and shit and make horrible voices and horrendous puns. These videos are for YouTube, Arryn, not a porn site._ ’

Once Barbara’s laughter began to dissipate, Arryn added, “What is going on with you, man? Y’all acting strange.” She made sure to throw in a Texan accent for good measure.

“Why is it weird, Arr?” Barbara asked. “Two gal-pals fucking each other? Kinda’ hot, really.” Her shit-eating grin grew when Arryn let out a sigh.

“Dude, what?” The raven haired girl tried to her best to make her shock seem believable. But, despite her growing acting career, her resolve seemed to fumble around the blonde.

The Canadian shrugged. “Just two girls going to a hockey game fucking flicking each other’s beans.” Even her face seemed to be slightly flushed as they joked about such a topic.

Arryn refused to look at Barbara. Instead, she watched as Mario flew to the next planet. Everyone said she saw so horrible at games but, in reality, it was Barbara who screwed her up. If she was recording with Lindsay or Meg, she’d be excelling at the game! But whenever she was with the dastardly good-looking Canadian Jew her thumbs locked and her hands became sweaty.

The raven haired girl could only imagine what her parents would think if they decided to watch this episode. Her mother would have a heart-attack and her father would probably try to skin Barbara alive.

While they both seemed like horrible outcomes, she knew reality was much worse. Next time she would have a conversation with either of them, they’d probably ask about the two of them: mistaking the banter of friends for actual flirting between girlfriends.

“Oh my god!” Arryn drew out, dropping her jaw dramatically. She would not crack in front of Barbara.

“Right in the center of the rink.” Barbara broke into laughter as Arryn said a, “Whoaaaaa.” She knew the blonde loved toying with her. “Going down on each other at the end zone, punishing each other in the penalty box.”

“Barb!” Arryn voice cracked slightly as she glared at the Canadian. She was going too far; the Texan couldn’t keep it cool for much longer. And, the worst part was, Barbara _knew_ it, too.

She decided to show her dearest friend mercy, however, and said, “Alright, never mind.” The blonde readjusted herself on the couch once more. “I’ve been hanging out with Elyse too much.”

Arryn knew that made sense. The other blonde Canadian was practically just as bad with Barbara with the dick jokes and endless innuendos. Putting the two together resulted in an insane concoction. Or, as they would probably say, con- _cock_ -tion.

“How could you say shit like that?” The raven haired girl asked, walking Mario through the beach with the controller. She knew she screwed herself. The topic had just been dropped and she was given a chance to escape. Instead, she plunged herself right back in it.

‘ _Like how you want to plunge yourself into Barbara?_ ’ She blushed heavily. ‘ _You walked right into that one._ ’

She really fucking hoped whoever edited this didn’t pay attention to their conversation. Lindsay would be the most. . .understanding, she supposed. Ashley and Meg would most likely hound her nonstop. Elyse would probably help Barbara plan an even more risqué time for their next Grump session.

And, if Steffie was the one to edit it, she would die of embarrassment. The woman was the most respectable of the bunch – even though her mind was just as dirty – and she couldn’t have her image being tainted because of Barbara’s loud mouth.

‘ _You mean her magical mouth? The one that you’d like to have around your-_ ’ Alright, that was enough. Her mind was her worst enemy, right now.

“Man, messed up!” Arryn targeted the next planet, sparing a glance at Barbara. The Canadian was toying with her hair, watching her with devious eyes and a devilish smirk that Arryn wanted so badly to kiss off.

The thought may have been wrong and worsening her helpless condition but it was better than the steamy things she had been imagining early.

The blonde laughed lightly. “Arryn. . .”

The Texan glanced at Barbara, smiling slightly. “W-what?” She nervously asked.

Barbara raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that I have voicemail messages from you saying, like,” her friend let out a wheeze-laugh as she prepared herself for what was to come next. “‘ _Hey, girl_ ,” they both shared a chuckle at her impression. “‘ _It’s Arryn. Uh, listen, I just really need you to scissor me right now._ ’”

Despite the horrendously embarrassing thing that had just escaped Barbara’s mouth, an intense giggle took her over. The absurdity of the message would make most think it had been fake but Arryn remembered, quite well, recording that message. She tried lying to herself and saying she had been shit-faced when recorded but she knew she had been completely sober at the time.

“What?! Did that really happen?” The Texan knew it had but _Barbara and the audience_ didn’t need to know that. Neither did any of the girls.

God, it didn’t matter who edited now. They’d all be harassing her for the next year.

“Of course it happened!” Barbara exclaimed. “That happened, like, two years ago!”

Had it really been that long ago? Arryn couldn’t seem to remember if she had crushed on Barbara so hard back then. Maybe she hadn’t been in love with her then-

‘ _whoa whoa whOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!_ ’ Her brain seemed to be setting off an alarm. There was a big difference between having an attraction to her best friend – and maybe wanting a few. . . ‘times’ with her – and harboring real feelings with her – and possibly wishing for a future together.

It was one thing if Barbara had sex with her. It was another if they fell in love.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “You’ll have to send me that.” Arryn said, easing her breathing.

“Yeah. It was on my old phone but I’m sure I kept it.” The raven haired girl covered her mouth as she laughed into her palm. “Because it made me laugh – every time.”

Even if Barbara never wanted anything with her, it always made her feel good when she knew she had made the blonde laugh.

As Arryn continued to chuckle, the Canadian continued. “You’re like, ‘ _Listen I know you’re busy but, like,_ ’” The raven haired girl tried her best to not mess up the game as Barbara brought back old memories.

“Man, I used to be funny.” The Texan said, looking over at Barbara whose eyes were crinkled in joy and lips curved into a massive smile. ‘ _And a lot less in love with you._ ’

Even if she was totally fucking herself by thinking like that Arryn knew she couldn’t deny it.

“Aw, god damn, Arrbear.” Barbara ran a hand through her hair. “It’s just hilarious that, like, how quickly we forget.”

Arryn nodded. “Yeah, I would totally still do that.”

Barbara laughed as she looked at her. “Of course!” They both knew she would. Except, this time, the blonde would probably respond with an equally gay and vulgar message. Over their time on the show they had grown more comfortable with each other. The Canadian no longer avoided her comments and, instead, replied with her own.

Arryn continued on with the level, trying her hardest to focus.

“You sounded like you had just woken up.” She probably had, deciding to wake her best friend up with a ridiculous message. “All of your words were slurred.” She mimicked her voice and half-lidded her eyes, repeating the line from before. “‘ _It’s Arryn. I know you’re busy but I really need you to scissor me right now. You can come on over, you know my address. Come in the back door. Y’know what I mean._ ’”

They both laughed as Arryn controlled Mario, making him swim underneath the cave to hit a button. “Oh man.”

The bridge of Barbara’s nose crinkled adorably as she giggled. “It was the best. Sorry I didn’t take you up on that. I was busy that day.”

The raven haired girl rolled her eyes playfully. “No, I understand that you’re a busy girl.” She mumbled something as Barbara laughed, thinking of another ‘moment’ they had shared.

“Was it on Game Grumps – shit, I can’t remember.” The blonde tapped her chin, her lips permanently formed into a smile. “I think we were just talking. Fuck, I’m going to sound so stupid if this was already on an episode.”

Then again, with their line of work, when was there a time when they _didn’t_ sound completely stupid on an episode?

“But I was like, ‘ _Oh man_ ,’ and you were like, ‘ _What were you doing?_ ’ And I said something like, ‘ _Just, fucking, touching myself with a hand on my tits._ ’” Barbara had to paused before she could continue. “And you were like, ‘ _Oh my god, you’ve done that? It’s the best, right!_ ’ So I said, ‘ _Wha- no! Actually, I’ve never done that._ ’”

At this point, Arryn had to grip her stomach as her body shook with laughter.

“And you were like, ‘ _Oh cool. Me neither. I was just fucking around._ ’”

Barbara slapped her knee as she wiped tears from her eyes, both of their laughs briefly becoming faint as they leaned away from the mic.

It took a good thirty seconds for them to compose themselves. They leaned against each other as loud guffaws and giggles that sounded drunk left their lips. It had been some time since a moment like this during a Grump session.

Despite being horribly embarrassing, Arryn was glad Barbara had brought the story up. If they got of kick out of her ‘shenanigans’ surely the audience would.

When they had first started the channel, the viewers had assumed they would stray from such naughty and coarse dialogues because of the feminine appearance.

But, within the first series posted, the fans soon learned their gender did not deter dick jokes and innuendos alike. Barbara was perhaps the worst of them – before Elyse joined; now the other Canadian seemed to rival her in immaturity – but Lindsay had always been a close second. Ashley and Meg were quite horrible themselves, no remorse shown if they were to drop references to both male and female anatomy in casual conversations.

But, in the eyes of the weekly watchers, Arryn seemed to be the only one with some filter (minus the interns and those behind the screens like Steffie and managers like Beth, of course).

So, it came as a surprise to all when she came out of her shell and began discussing rather sinful and borderline NSFW matters like they were casual conversation starters.

To them, asking, “Ever had a threesome with dildos?” was the same as “So how about that weather?”

Even if Arryn had proven she could be just as naughty as the others, sometimes people still saw the lingering innocence in her – the kind that had been wiped out of the other girls long ago. However, with this current conversation, there was a strong chance she would no longer be the somewhat-sinful angel among sex demons.

She was one of them now.

* * *

 

The session had ended with the two of them holding their sides. Pain from laughter was a good thing.

The girls made no comment once they exited the room, despite their laughter ringing throughout the office the whole time. Arryn just prayed the sound-proof walls were just that. Everything that had just been recorded was between Barbara, whoever would be the editor of the episode, and her.

And the audience, of course, but hopefully no one in public would recognize her for some time. She’d rather not be seen by a fan while in Walmart and have them bring up her embarrassing thoughts of Barbara.

Two days after the episode had been recorded, it was released to YouTube.

And, almost immediately, her inbox was filled with countless of messages from fans. Every single one of them wanted to comment on how ‘Barbarryn had become canon!’

As she scrolled through them, she laughed to herself. “If only."


End file.
